Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
You can't special order awesome
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
