I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
