I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
My vagina just recognized that song.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
