I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
