I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
