you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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