We won't sleep together?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
