My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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