He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
