i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
