So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
