I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
