Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
