Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
