mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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