maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Randomize
