stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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