I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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