Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Randomize
