Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
