Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
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