I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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