It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
