Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
