I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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