Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
