No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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