She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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