It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
