i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I love how my cats smell like pot.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Drake has all the answers
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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