Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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