all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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