OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
