Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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