They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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