Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
