I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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