I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
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