Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
