Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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