it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
