Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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