Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize