We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I got inside last night via doggy door
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
