so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
