DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Randomize