I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
soo... how was my night?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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