Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
