i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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