I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
try to milk me bitch
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