if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
