his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
