Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize