hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Randomize
