He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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