I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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