Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
