Quick, to the slutcave!
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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