dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I think pants incapable of making pants work
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
