Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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