i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
