We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
